her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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