get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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