My nipple is on Facebook.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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