The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Houston, we have a squirter
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
