I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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