It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
