just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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