you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm always down for nudity.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
