no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
