If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
