The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
