Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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