So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i now understand why vodka
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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