Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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