just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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