she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
