fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
someone threw a dead crab at me
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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