I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
