You just made me feel so damn special
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
