Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He better not be in your backpack
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
