Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
