She tied me up with her honor cords...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
