Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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