So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
my poor anus
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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