When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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