Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
