You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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