Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
