My room smells like vodka and shame
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
