so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
