Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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