What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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