Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
