also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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