just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
