Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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