yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
