Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
