I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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