Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
