If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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