My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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