JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
