vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
