idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
