yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
