...so i touched it.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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