Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
