maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
