so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
